Picture this:
You got your new ride. 700Hp ROCKSTAR Vehicle, Booming sound system, all the tech gadgets and technologies!
It says on the label : 0 to 60 in 3.8 seconds and can still do 20 mpg
So there you are, in your car. You have all the tools, booming the sound system with your “cool” playlist. Everyone is watching and waiting for you to put on a SHOW and to your frustration: Can’t move!
Ok: Let us check.
- Engine on : Yep
- Gear shift in Drive: Check
- Any yellow or red lights in the dashboard: Nope
Everyone is now wondering what’s wrong with your car and you begin to worry that there is something horribly wrong with you as well.
WHATS WRONG WITH MY CAR!
So after a few days of this and just before you take the car to the scrap yard you call the mechanic and have him check. To him, the answer is obvious. Your transmission is not connected! So he connects it and BAM! Moving!
The transmission was not connected to the gear shift? Is that IT? You’re telling me that this is the problem? Yep!
Now you have just gotten a little feel for what Attention Deficit and Depression/Anxiety may possibly look like for some people.
With ADD, you have those books on the table and you try and try and try to read and to understand, but no matter how hard you try it just doesn’t connect. So you throw the books down, disengage with your teachers (they make no sense either!), can’t talk to my parents (all they do is preach to me about my grades and the F I got in Chemistry).
So all people see is someone who acts like they don’t care and have no interest in anything meaningful. Oh and also, they are just plain DUMB! Your scream to the world: I am trying so hard, can’t you see that?
No: They cannot see it and eventually, they disconnect from YOU!
Depression/Anxiety is the same: Being around people is EXHAUSTING because when you are around them they think you are strange as hell: They think that you don’t want to talk, don’t want to laugh, don’t want to have fun and don’t want to be there (well, that last part is kinda true, but not really).
You do want ALL of it: But HOW to be there is the problem.
- Idle chatter to just talk (Why? I don’t know what to say anyway!)
- Tell me you love and care about me (I don’t believe you, what’s to love about ME!).
- Show/Tell you how I really feel? (Not going to do that, its too dangerous)
- Go to a party? Not going to because all folks will be doing is laughing and joking and doing stupid pointless stuff.
My Solution: Best to just go to my room by myself, play video games and check my Facebook, Instagram and social media feeds. That world really understands me and I don’t have to really talk to them to be accepted. (This fits ADD as well, BTW)
While you are doing that, people begin to disconnect with YOU because all they see is someone who acts like they are always sad, angry or irritated and that they don’t care. And they right, who would want to be around someone like that?
And what YOU see when they disconnect re-inforces your core belief about yourself: I do not belong!
These are just a couple examples of how people that have very treatable illnesses can possibly be removed from society (or remove themselves). Sad because all that is missing is to connect that transmission, then they can begin to engage.
These people are NOT crazy and there is nothing essentially WRONG with them and they DO want to be there in the world. They just do not get HOW to do that.
They do not need to be babied, treated like an invalid and definitely not ostracized. What they need is their transmission connected or re-connected and they will be perfectly fine in due time.
They are also not abnormal or as strange as you may think! Statistics say that 1 in 5 of (all) adults in the U.S.—43.8 million, or 18.5%—experiences mental illness in a given year.
So if you are around four other people right now, chances are that at least one of you are dealing with something! If it is not the other four: It’s probably YOU!!
And a point especially for MY people: The most effective treatments are NOT going to church this Sunday or getting the belt out on that “bad” kid. Nothing wrong with that, but it won’t solve the problem.
Call a GOOD mechanic and get that transmission connected!
Prayer and patience also help. To the affected, being disconnected and distant and disengaged is normal, that’s what they used to survive, for them that disconnected world is safe. It takes a while to for them see that the real world is not as dangerous as they think.
Hint: That is a possible reason they can’t easily do the eye contact thing. That connects and connecting is unsafe.
They need to know it’s safe to put the car in drive!
Links:
https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-by-the-numbers
https://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/Children-MH-Facts-NAMI.pdf
https://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/GeneralMHFacts.pdf
https://www.nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/Infographics/MulticulturalMHFacts10-23-15.pdf
Quiet Thunder 
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