Remember, this is not THE truth, but something to think about and it only MY response to the question.
To make it plain, the answer is two fold
1. Let us love you
2. Acknowledge that you need us with you
I am clear that everyone who reads this blog may not be Christian, but I think that this bible verse says it best:
Ephesians 5:25 says this: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
There is nothing more fulfilling to a man than it is to be necessary in the life of his mate and his children.
As as far as children are concerned….while we are active in making them happen, in the end:
1. We can only watch pregnancy and be supportive through that process
2. We can only watch childbirth and be protective to make sure you and the children come through it ok
When the child is born, then we are the ones who should be ready to stand willing to give everything, including our LIVES to protect you and the children
You see…Good Men, by their nature need to feel NEEDED. Not like a power thing or a ruler thing, but we just need to feel useful. If a woman takes the stance that she does not need a man, it is the ultimate turn-off, and also not quite true.
Also: It is not like we need for women to be weak, but WE have a need to be strong…for YOU. If our women or our children is saying that we are not needed, then that power is taken away from us and we feel useless and emasculated (less than a man). Our emotive response to that is mostly unhealthy and the face of this maybe anger, withdrawal, depression…or all of the above!
You see, Good men (for example):
· Need to be the ones who drive to the store late at night cuz it ain’t safe for you to go or at least by yourself!
· Need to open the jar of peanut butter.
· Need to check the house when you hear “noises”.
· Need to drop you off at the door while we drive for two blocks to park the car.
· Need to go put gas in the car
.Need to be the one who takes front and center when the family is threatened or challenged
The ultimate pain for a man is to be unnecessary. Men have a VERY hard time when there is no call for them anymore. Maybe that is why we die a LOT sooner than our women do.
First the children grow and move on with their lives. Good to see, but VERY hard for us men as our role can never again be their primary protector/provider.
Next: We get older and less physically capable of being the protector.
Bottom Line: Being needed is what men are built for, feeling not needed is likely the worst thing for us, so I said all of what I just said to say this: The best way to love us is to let us live our purpose.
Don’t believe that is what we are built for? Then ask yourself this: Why were we made bigger and stronger than you? I believe the intent was NOT for us to dominate you, but rather to PROTECT you. Any other use of that power is, to me, unnatural!
Now, to close the loop: Going back a couple of verses, you will find that Ephesians 5:22 says this “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”
Well consider that the submission is just letting us know that we are needed and to trust us to be what we are designed to be.
And submission ALSO does not mean “obey” or he is “the boss”
I mean in every healthy household I have EVER seen, the woman actually makes most of the decisions and the men make sure (if he is smart), that she gets what she needs to make the household work for the family. I mean if it were up to us, it would be pop and pizza every night for the kids or whatever the kids wanted us to buy so we could get to the TV and the remote control the fastest! I have personally got some hot stares because of me doing this because it is too expensive and unhealthy.
So to the men: Don’t read verse #22 without reading verse #25 (Your responsibility).
Men: Be worthy of that submission by living up to your part of the bargain (recall what was sacrificed)
Women: Be worthy of that sacrifice by making sure that we are OK (Good men sometimes get so busy taking care of everyone else, we fail to take care of ourselves) and by letting us know that you need and want us here.
You see: In every community, the men are only as powerful as their women would have them to be. Our love is shown to you by what we are willing to give up so you are safe and well. Our power is derived from your acceptance and trust that we will fulfill that purpose.
Will every man live up to that: No! But most of us (more than you think) would give a whole lot for that opportunity.
Quiet Thunder 
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