Protect Black Women: A priority and here are some things to think about!

This is an addition and re-direction of my earlier post about the inquiry about what is is to be black and male.

Fellas: Our women are in danger.

• They are missing and law enforcement isn’t doing anything about it.
• The media plays a huge role in ignoring the problem of them being missing.
• And far too often, the problem is one of us.

We know this, but in order to make a difference, we, as Black Men are vital in their protection. Just as we cannot survive without their love and support, they cannot survive without ours.

First: A word from a Queen on this topic!

The responsibility to make sure our women are safe belongs to us:

Why?

• They are our wives/mothers/sisters/girlfriends/children’s mother/people we grew up with and other people we care about.
• If we don’t, who will?

First things first:

Stop listening to this “I don’t need a man” thing. Far too many of us take that as an excuse to run away from them. Mainly (IMO) this I don’t need a man dialog is because of situations in their life or others (mothers, sisters, daughters & friends) they are just not expecting much from us. And…some brothers among us have earned this distrust. For reasons both real and imagined, many have come to the conclusion that they cannot rely on us to protect them from harm.

However I invite you to be what they need and not what they expect. Change the narrative of what we are to them. Or BE the change we want to see.

How to keep our women from going missing

• Make sure they are not in vulnerable situations, if you know a friend/family member who is going somewhere ALONE she should not be, check that. I see way too many young ladies walking around at night by themselves. Be available to them so that they do not take unnecessary risks. Either you go with them, make sure someone else goes or that trip to the store might need to wait until the morning when someone can go or it is safe.
• Train yourselves and them on how predators may think: Learn the signs of what these people are like and be a filter to them. A helpful charming person could quickly create a false sense of safety for women, we need to look out for that.
• Spread the word: The internet & social media may be the cause of our women disappearing. I hear words from missing women and girls announcement saying things like “She left her residence without permission”. Someone they know or think is cool may be enticing them to come outside. Our women should know that the internet predators are not an affluent white girl thing, they go after them too! This is real for Black Girls too!
• Point out where they may be making themselves attractive to those who may prey on them. We may have read where people post themselves flashing cash on social media and get robbed in real life, well consider that a women/girl who keeps posting “hot looking” pictures of herself BY HERSELF is also putting herself in danger. If these fools showed up for cash they see online, they will be showing up for something else.

Help with domestic abuse and violence

• Make sure that you know the signs of domestic abuse. They are not always so obvious. Knowing the signs mean that you know who to have a concern for. Check in with them, maybe not on the phone, but asking her “are you ok” gives her some knowledge that someone cares and is looking out for her. That person being a man means something!
• Change your friendships. Sadly some of us know brothers who are intentionally harming our women. Unless they are willing to change, they need to be disowned. If you know the signs and see them on your friends women, check in on her too. If it is clear that this is happening, you don’t have to intervene yourself and put yourself in danger, but consider not enabling it by being his friend anymore (again, if he is unwilling to change that behavior). If the brother is losing friends over this, he may change his ways. I think that if he is harming his women and still keeps his friends, then this makes it ok in his eyes. Birds of a feather, right? Well time to shed some feathers! You ain’t that kind of bird, so show it.
• Don’t tolerate abusive culture. Our women are being called b—es and h–s in music, movies. Stop listening to this. You are literally paying people to enable this poisonous attitude towards our women (and US too!). What shows up on screen & music manifests itself in real life. As I posted that we should not call ourselves n–s all the time, we should not tolerate and jam to music that dehumanizes black people. What shows up on tv and the movies shows up in real life, we should stop trying to separate it. If you think that this music is of these brothers free expression, think again!

None of this involves putting yourself in danger, just keep yourself educated, change the narrative and check in with our women! ALL of them!

And also I want to be clear: This does not mean be an unwanted intrusion. If she says (or shows) she doesn’t want you around, honor and respect that.

Now…….(some questions & thoughts you may have)

• The question that you may ask is “What do we get”?
• You may say they disrespect us, treat us like s–t!
• You may be thinking: They really don’t care about us!
• You may also asking: Why do this if they STILL say (and some prove) they don’t need us?
• And am I asking that you give up (some of) my friends for THEM?

They act the way they do because (in part) they are living in the house WE built and we need to own that! The media also does lots of damage to, but another post (Its a WIP).

So…my response to the question: Yes. Because WE are the Kings, We set the tone, WE build the house. And SHE doesn’t need to do anything for us to be who we are supposed to be. It is not what THEY do it is what WE do that matters. We do the right things, then we earn the trust we seek. You want the respect of a QUEEN. Well then be a KING!

Bottom Line: We do not just have a violence against women problem, we have a plain old VIOLENCE problem in our community and we need to solve the whole problem.

We all know that the system doesn’t care and targets us and no one cares or worries if black men are missing and that there is a machinery that creates our language as profits from us living it our on the streets. Well the same is true for them.

You see predatory people hunt victims that no one misses or cares about.

Well who cares more about our women than US?

Well, that is why it is OUR job!