Spend a little time in MY skin

Just to set the context for this post, please watch the video below!

Once you see this video, you can see how special, intelligent and AWARE our boys are…and you can get a glimpse of their pain as well.

The most heartbreaking and emotional part (for me) of the video is at the 3:35 mark when 10 year old Maddox says what he says (just watch).

Here is what there is to absorb: At 10 years old, he needs to be taught to think like that, just so he can survive!

You see, the WORST think about growing up black and male is this: You are genuinely FEARED!

• People cross the street when you appear to avoid you
• Women clutch their purses and/or fear they will be harmed when in close proximity to you
• Police will literally stop and interrogate you if someone accuses you of staring at them
• While you rarely get portrayed in the media as a full human being, the IDHD (crime/murder) channel and others dedicate LONG parts of the day to showing people who look like YOU killing people and (of course) people that look like THEM as the heroes who solve the case or save the pretty lady.

This (and other scenarios) make it so that Black men are always on guard for how they appear and we have to work very hard to appear non-threatening.

In fact, some black men are every bit as uncomfortable around YOU as you are around them. Because they fear that if they are being themselves it can be misunderstood and the consequences of that are substantial.

After this brief (for me) post, you may be in a couple of spaces

• You may be tempted to say “I understand”. No…you don’t!
• You may be saying “these are well mannered young men, if they act like this all the time there would not be a problem. You are WRONG!
• You may even say “I am a black women, I get this” and again the answer is No…You don’t!

I am not asking you to believe what I am saying and I request you not argue and try to prove me wrong. In 2021, this is what reality still looks like for us.

I AM asking you to imagine this: What would life be like for you to always have to modify your behavior just to other people can feel safe or comfortable?

Would you like to walk around life like that?

And in case you are skeptical that Black men walk around literally with a target on their back, just absorb what the chart below is telling you.