Lets talk about forgiveness

Just so you know, this is not purely a “race” discussion, this is a discussion of my feelings on ANYONE who inflicts their power on anyone else willfully.

If you REALLY know me, you know I feel this way: strength and power are given in order to protect those who have less than you or are more vulnerable than you are. I have a problem when people abuse their gifts to the disadvantage of those who don’t.

As I usually do, I start off with a definition of what I will discuss

Forgive (verb): Stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

Before I go further, please know that I get it:

I can get why it is necessary to release anger or resentment, that is part of the healing process. It is necessary for us to be able to function as human beings.
I get it, It is unhealthy to go through life bitter and angry as this will impact all areas of our lives.

Here is another term I want to put in

Absolution (noun): Formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.

Sometimes I think we collapse forgiveness with absolution.

The bible seems to be to qualify when we should forgive. Remember, part of the verse says “For they know not what they do”

So here is what I struggle with:

What if they DO know what they are doing?
What if they DO know what they did, or was done?
Should we STIILL be obligated to forgive?

You see: I MIGHT even be able to forgive if they did not know, maybe even made a mistake or a there was a misunderstanding.

But…….

What if people deliberately continue to do us harm or injustice and expect us to get over it?
What if people won’t even acknowledge the harm done to us or worse, JUSTIFY doing it?
What if people actually get angry with us when we want to have a conversation about what happened and how it impacted us so that we are complete or made whole?
What if they take actions to make sure that our issues are not heard or that they do not face any punishment or consequences?

My questions:

Should we stop being angry?
Should we stop being resentful?
Should we not seek justice?

And if we keep doing that, then what should we expect them to think?

Will people think of us as weak?
Will they think what what they are doing is ok?
Will they think that having our forgiveness is their right and they should do nothing else?

I think that forgiveness is healthy and nothing needs to be done to “deserve” forgiveness because forgiveness, like trust is mine to give.

However, we should not be so willing to easily grant absolution. Absolution IS something to be earned!

I will do what I need to do to heal myself so I can function daily, but…

I will not forget what was done
I will not forget your attitude and indifference about my pain and suffering
I will not forget that you tried to justify it
I will not forget you tried to cover it up and bury it
I will not forget that you actually profit from it

But I will forgive because you do not deserve to inflict any more pain on my soul.

If you want absolution then maybe you should

Not take advantage of your power
Use your power to stop others from being hurt
When and where you have caused harm (or not stopped it if within your power to prevent), seek to make amends

Then you may “deserve” forgiveness and then and ONLY then is there a chance at absolution!

And even then: You should have no other expectation.