I have been hearing talk about a lot of circles and causes calling on their “allies” to support their cause. I think that what many people think of as allies are really just supporters.
To me the difference is HUGE and here is my attempt to clarify.
Of course lets start with the definitions
Supporter Definition: A person who approves of and encourages someone or something (typically a public figure, a movement or party, or a policy).
Ally Definition: Combine or unite a resource or commodity with (another) for mutual benefit.
So allow me to expand on this a bit:
- A supporter is someone who is sympathetic to a cause. They approve of it and will defend it when they can and it makes sense to do it and it does not conflict with any of their other interests or concerns.
- An Ally is basically “ride or die”. They combine recourses because they see it is mutually beneficial to do it. In short, they do it because NOT doing it isn’t really an option.
You remember the Chicken vs the Pig: When it comes to making breakfast The chicken (supporter) is involved, but the pig (ally) is COMMITTED!
- A Supporter (chicken) would listen to you, make a speech on your behalf throw a few (or a lot of) dollars at it, attend events, but if it gets too hot for them, they will shrink away and have a very “good reason” to do it. They will serve breakfast!
- An Ally (pig) would look at it more simply: Anything that looks like it is intended to injure you is a deal breaker for them no matter the cost…to them! They will get on the plate with you!
So we need to expect a little more from people who say that they are “with us”. Sometimes being with us is going to cost you friends.
Here are some things to look at:
An supporter would say or do things like
- Honestly and sincerely be sympathetic and empathetic to you and your cause
- Make a donation
- Make some phone calls for you
- Attend events with you
- Speak and make statements on your behalf or your cause
An Ally will say or do all of the above AND…
- Imagine a world where YOU were empowered and sees the benefit to THEM of you winning
- Honestly seek to work out any differences and work toward common areas of benefit
- Ask YOU the tough questions that will get you in action and stick by you while you deal with them
- When you are weak, tired, frustrated, they will pick up the torch while you rest and get it together
Bottom Line:
- An ally has skin in the game, a supporter doesn’t
- An ally NEEDS for you to win so they can feel like they won. A supporter will feel good if you win and (maybe) feel bad if you lose
A supporter will tell you that say they are for something you really need and then say it is a “heavy lift” to knock down the wall that will make it happen.
Let me be clear: There is nothing wrong with supporters. They are necessary and can help you win your game. In fact you cannot win without them either. Just know what to expect from them.
Note that you can push supporters away from you or your cause if you make them wrong for not being an ally. Because if you do that, you will be hypocritical. If you are being honest, on a lot of issues YOU are the supporter and not the ally.
You and them are exactly the same. Do not blame them for being human.
To restore your peace of mind and sanity and maintain positive relationships with them all, just identify who your supporters are and who your allies are and set your expectations and actions accordingly.
Quiet Thunder 
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