This is a follow up post to “I am not your n—a“
First, let me re-introduce myself. My name is Charles Christopher Primas!
My first name: I was named Charles because there was the thinking that I should be named after my father (Charlie), but my mother wanted my name to be more formal, thus I was named Charles.
So, I am technically NOT junior, but my father’s friends always called me “Charlie Junior”, which was cool. I certainly FELT like a junior and I knew I was my father’s son and belonged to him and that he was proud that I was his son!
My middle name “Christopher” was something that was kind of pulled out of thin air, it was unique to my family (and that is what my family calls me even today), and my parents thought “Charles Christopher” sounded kind of cool and angelic. Oh, and I am probably the only person you know whose first and middle names start with the same two letters. Unless you also know MY son….LOL!
Guess what my name is NOT? It is not n—a!
I was named in LOVE by parents that loved me and they gave me a name that reflected their love!
I have a habit when entering circle of people I do not know. I learn their names by listening to the group talk. After a few minutes of listening to young men of other ethnic groups, I know who Brad, Jerry and Tom are.
When I listen to a group of young (or not so young) Black Men talk, they all seem to have the same name….n—ah! And they can refer to other Black Men who are NOT there by referring to them by where they live or what they do. Like “yeah, you know him, he’s that n–h that lives around the corner and used to date your sisters friend”. AND, everyone knows who they are talking about.
The conversation can go on for an hour or more before anyone’s given name is mentioned.
It seems to me that this is how our men think of themselves and each other. And maybe this is what we think of them.
This is part of the cultural poison we need to eradicate.
To Mom and Dads of Black Boys. As My parents did, you gave your baby boy a name that meant something special to you.
- Maybe he was named after his father
- Maybe he was named after another family member (grandfather, uncle, etc)
- Maybe he was named after a historical figure or other person that you admired.
- Or maybe you just gave him a name that sounded cool and unique
I bet that after watching your baby boy growing in the womb for nine months you did not look at him when he emerged from there and say that his name was n….h.
I would bet that word did not cross your mind!
You gave him his name to show his uniqueness, that he was special and that he was loved, that he was yours and had a future that you could see for him.
So why is it ok that we accept that once he reaches a certain age people that look like him call him n—h?
- Is he no longer unique?
- Is he no longer special?
- Is his future going to be like everyone else’s and what the world expects him to have?
No!
You gave him his name out of love, out of expectation for the man he is to be. For the future that he was going to have and that he was YOUR son and belonged to YOU!
Forget the KKK, Proud Boys or any White Supremist group, our young men are called “niggah” by people of their own complexion way more than these people call them that.
His OWN people call him a n—h more than they call him the name that YOU gave him! Some do not even bother learning his real name, he is just than little n—h across the street!
Why is this OK? Because the people that call him that look like HIM!
I say NO! In fact, I think it is WORSE that people that look like him refer to him the way the slave-masters of old referred to him as.
Think of this: YOUR son hears himself called a n–h more than he hears himself called his own name.
How do you think this impacts him?
I think WE would know better!
You see, what the word does is dehumanize you son. It makes him one of “them” and therefore his death or incarceration will mean nothing to anyone else but YOU.
That his own people would reduce him to this is not acceptable and honestly, dangerous!
Here is a word from someone who expresses this better than me!
You see, I have been around people who HATE Black People and fear Black men, but honestly, the times I have felt the most threatened was around men of my own color.
They felt FREE to call me n–h and, therefore justified to act on that!
Our young men are special from birth, we need to make sure that we treat them accordingly and give them the chance to live into the hopes and dreams we have for them and not what the world would have them be.
You see: I was not born to be anyone’s nigger, nigga or any version of the word. And neither is YOUR son.
Just like YOUR son, I was named in LOVE.
And because I love my brothers, I will not refer to men of my color as a n—h! They do not deserve to be disrespected like that, especially by one of their own people.
On April 4th, 1968, Martin Luther King Junior was assassinated in Memphis Tennessee supporting the sanitation workers in their strike for equality.
In the face of dehumanizing conditions, they held up a sign that said this.
My point: Your baby boy is going to be a MAN, I request we all start calling him that and the name you LOVINGLY gave him so that he knows what he is supposed to be.
You named him in LOVE, don’t let the world call him anything else but what and who he is!
Quiet Thunder 
You must be logged in to post a comment.