From a place of WAR to a Place of Peace. It’s all in the language!

Thought I would share something I got out my training this past weekend. This one is a bit nuanced so hang in there with me.

I am going from a place of anger to a place of freedom. So maybe this is the start of me crossing the bridge to a place of sanity.

My anger statement says something like this: There is a DECLARED war on Black Men.

I have proof!

• I read a well-researched article in the National Library of Medicine that says Black Men are 6% of the population and 50% of the inmate population.
• An article posted in Florida Atlantic University’s Website shares this: More than 1.1 million African American men are imprisoned in the United States, and about 500,000 are fathers. Many of their fathers also served time in jail or prison, and many of their children will as well (So this is a multi-generational war, Black Men are not leaving their families, they are being REMOVED!)
• And…..I got lots more I am not gonna share or ya’ll might check out on me and stop reading!

So……If you incarcerate a specific group of people to that extent and over such a LONG time, isn’t that a WAR?

To me, this seems that the world thinks that Black Men are evil, dangerous or otherwise undesirable, and they deserve to be where they are.

Well in our agreed-upon reality that is true.

No?

• If you close your eyes and someone said terms like “criminal”, “drug dealer”, “carjacking”, “domestic violence” or “robbery” or “homicide”……who does the world (and even YOU) picture?
• I also must hold Black people accountable too. We almost with glee call our young men “niggah”, “thug” or “gangsta” like it’s something to aspire to be.

If our agreed-upon language is that Black Men are evil or dangerous (or any of the archetypes listed above), then it is perfectly ok to lock up 1 in 3 Black Men

Isn’t it?

It’s not only ok, it is also the natural thing to do.

You see, if we create a language where black men are FEARED, then they must be dealt with to keep us all safe!

Question: How do we expect them to interact with the world if the only time they are talked about or get attention is when they……

• Entertain us: Play Ball very well, or be a rap star
• Get shot or killed by a police officer
• Do something HORRIBLE or something the patriarchy dislikes
• Grow up in the language where they are thug, niggah, drug dealer or gangsta (or baller)

Couple of questions to ponder:

• How would YOU interact with the world if this is the only way to get the world to pay attention to you?
• How would YOU interact with the world if you knew that the way that the world can feel safe is if you are under control or locked away?

I think the image below gives us a hint as to the answer!

So….what do we DO about this? Change the language!

If you close your eyes again and I mentioned terms like….

• Prince Charming
• The hero that saves the girl/planet
• The perfect leading Man

That’s NOT exactly the conversation we have about Black Men, is it?

But…what if?

Prince Charming looked like this?

The powerful hero coming to save us looked like this?

More leading men looked like this?

I am “realistic”: I am not expecting Hollywood or the media to change things, they get paid billions to keep us awash in the “normal” conversations. In fact, they would probably go broke if they didn’t.

You see, in THEIR language:

• Prince Charming looks like this
• The Hero saving the girl looks like this
• The leading men must look like this

But…..

That is the language the world chooses, and we don’t have to fight the world and their language; we can just CHOOSE our own!

What I am present to is that I (and we all) can be an agent to change the language, inside of that Black men experience lives that are free, and whole and get to love and experience being loved.

What if for us, Black Men are kings, fathers to be, the husband that is wanted and needed, the protector of Black Women and they experience that it is possible for them to be trusted, valued and respected.

You see…. we can choose to be FOR the language that empowers our men and boys instead of fighting AGAINST the conversation that the world (and sometimes US) agree that our sons (and men) are.

What if this is the NEW language that our boys grew up in? What would they do with that kind of power, that kind of language?

What if this is what we create for them as this is who they are?

Our boys are watching us and grow up in the language we create for them. They live into OUR expectations!

All of this we can create in OUR language and share with the world.

We can change the world by speaking power and life to our boys and young men!

We want results with our young men? Then we need to change the context of their lives and we do that by how we speak to them, and we defend them against anyone who want to pull them into the language of the patriarchy.

Inside that new context, what is expected of them will transform and they will live into the new expectations as children always live into and strive for what is expected of them by their elders.

I will speak the new language.

Will You?

I repeat for emphasis: Our boys are watching us and listening to our language.

Oh and where does the freedom come from? I no longer need to fight the world or convince anyone our boys are powerful.

In MY reality and in MY language: It is just true!

Do I still believe there is a declared war on Black Men?

Absolutely!

And I am also clear that this war is in someone else’s language and not in mine. I choose to not fight that war, I choose to create a new reality for Black Men to live in!

Also, that fight is so exhausting and gets us nowhere and drives me INSANE!

We will just change our language and the world will catch up to us! They always do. You see, THEY are listening to us as well!

I leave you some very relevant music to shout to!

So I say Let’s DANCE!

Will you join me on this new dance floor?